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Break the excuse addiction

Excuses can come in different forms. We can express them verbally, we can think them, or we can adopt behaviours such as addictions. Disguising problems and numbing the pain is really making an excuse for not finding a solution. I cringe at excuses because excuses mean that we are essentially not taking responsibility for our life. Eckart Tolle in The Power Of Now says: Every addiction arises from an unconscious refusal to face and move through your own pain. Every addiction starts with pain and ends with pain. Whatever the substance you are addicted to — alcohol, food, legal or illegal drugs, or a person — you are using something or somebody to cover up the pain. That is why after the initial euphoria has passed, there is so much unhappiness, so much pain in intimate relationships. They do not cause pain and happiness. They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you. Every addiction does that. Every addiction reaches a point where it does not work for you anymore, and then you feel the pain more intensely than ever. Problems begin when we hide our truth and numb our pain. Relief from pain can also include avoidance techniques like giving reasons, procrastination,…

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Take some time to reflect on the past

Even though we don’t want to live in or dwell in the past, before leaping forward into 2019 don’t miss a crucial step taken by the highly successful. It’s time to reflect on the past, as this is where little clues lie that have a big impact on creating memories worth holding on to. What are your clues from the past? Spend some time writing down what you have learnt from the past year. Then we are truly ready to expire the old stuff, the stuff we no longer need. Like any great structure, the foundations must be strong. We have patterns of behaviour — some serve us and some don’t.  The solution is to ramp up those behaviour patterns that serve us and sever those that don’t. We can exist almost unconsciously— unaware of how our actions are knitted into patterns. Consider the last year carefully and become aware of how your behaviours have affected you in the following areas: emotionally psychologically physically financially. Recall times when you were fulfilled, feeling motivated, purposeful and moving in the right direction. What were the patterns or habits you had then? Do you still have them? Mark out the tough times — what…

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Aim for progress

Working long hours does not necessarily bring productivity and fulfilment. It’s not the number of hours that matters, it’s what lies within those hours and whether they are filled with growth and progress. I’ve certainly worked my fair share of long hours. However, as a leader, I strived to make each day full of hours of progress, not just full of hours. I led one of the most profitable real estate offices in Australia and New Zealand and part of our success was that we worked to a five-day plan of effective hours. Equally important were the hours of progress in other areas of our lives such as health, relaxation, fun and relationships. Make every hour count by working towards what you value, like your: physical and mental health personal development and learning spirituality family relationships quality friendships relaxation and good sleep recreation and fun work achievements financial freedom, and growth through challenge. With a definition of success as ‘living a life according to your values’, we spend more hours getting things done that matter and create highly productive hours. When we aim for hours of progress rather than complaining about hours worked, life moves forward — forward with each…

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Don’t be too patient

When your values and your passion are congruent they become the fuel for your conviction. And your why matters when it comes to conviction. Conviction comes from alignment with your values. How much conviction do you have towards living a life according to your values? Conviction can sometimes be seen as impatience. Impatience is often criticised rather than praised, but I believe it’s an admirable quality. When you are impatient – driven towards the things you value, this restlessness may be just what’s needed to bridge the gap between where you are currently and where you want to be. Dr Russ Harris, writes in The Reality Slap: On one side is the reality we have, and on the other is the reality we want. And the bigger the gap between those two realities, the more painful the feelings that will arise: envy, jealousy, fear, disappointment, shock, grief, sadness, anger, anxiety, outrage, dread, guilt, resentment; perhaps even hatred, despair or disgust. And, whereas the slap is usually over quickly, the gap can persist for days, weeks, months, years and even decades. We can’t be too patient as within the gap between where we are now and where we want to be lies much that can…

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We all have a BIG purpose

When we focus on what we value each day we have greater purpose and move forward in a valued direction. So rather than just being busy and getting things done we are busy getting the things done that really matter. There is a difference between goals and values. Goals are the small ticks on the way that keep us busy but the values provide you with focus and purpose. When we don’t reach our goals we can feel disappointed and lose momentum. This is why you also need a direction based on your values. Value-based directions are more powerful than goals alone as they are based on the why and not just the what. This distinction is the difference between the everyday busy and purposeful busy. The humble bee whose purpose is the simple act of pollinating plants by collecting nectar has a big purpose. Without this tiny creature we would starve. The food we need is a result of the hard, purposeful work of this and other insects. No pollination means no more plants. With no plants the animal kingdom would collapse. That’s a pretty big purpose I’d say. Like the bee, you too can live with purpose and have an important place in the…

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