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Uncover the fear

Numbing our psychological pain protects us from feeling hurt. Although in the short term this cover-up provides some relief, in the long run the effects of anesthetizing what’s really going on can be harmful. Fear is often the reason for the masquerade – disguising problems and preventing us from finding solutions, leading us often paralysed with inaction. At times, we don’t realise that we are living in fear: fear of not having enough money, being alone, not being loved, being rejected, losing our job, failure and even success. Sometimes our calm exterior hides the fear inside and we sabotage our success. We then start to make excuses like “I’m too busy” – a cover-up for “I’m not prepared to face what’s behind the fear.” What are you using to numb the pain? Alcohol, drugs, over socialising, oversleeping, overeating or maybe working too much. Do you need some help and new skills to face the fear and take the action? In the Leading Women Programs we check-in regularly to see what the roadblocks are to taking the right action. It’s not until we uncover the fear behind our inaction that we STOP the masquerade and get on with living a better life! If…

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It’s our choice

The way we live each day from the moment we wake up is a choice. You have freedom of choice. Do you agree with this statement? Consider your thoughts on this. In our current situation, we may not always feel like we have a choice however we get to choose to either take responsibility and action or remain in fear and settling for the way things are. It’s our choice! Like planting seeds – we choose what we want to nurture and grow until it’s time to harvest. The seeds are our choices and what we do with those choices determines the quality of our life. As the late Zig Ziglar said “Every choice you make has an end result.” Consider the impact of your choices on where you are now or where you would like to be. Living in the Western world, there are so many choices and the desire to have it all can mean making a decision can be confusing, stressful and time consuming. With the potential for being overwhelmed, more than ever we have to make a careful choice and a quick choice. Careful and quick may seem conflicting – but sometimes we take too long deciding. The longer…

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Desire to change

While decisions are the starting point, we often need courage to act, to persist and to finish. Courage comes when the decision and desire to change triumphs over our debilitating fears. High performers know this secret and make decisions, take action and create amazing outcomes in spite of their fears. Courage, and the conviction that drives it, are the gateway to a fulfilled life. Conviction through courage requires us to first acknowledge fearful thoughts. When we understand that these thoughts shouldn’t stop us from taking action in our chosen direction – we don’t settle and don’t quit in the pursuit of what matters. Our ability to find the conviction is directly related to a strong desire for a new outcome. If the desire for the outcome is weak, we often don’t act or follow through. Conviction can come from being passionate about living by our values – congruence is key here.   In exercising courage, there is a period of discomfort. Through taking action in what matters, in spite of fear and experiencing the positive outcomes over time, a sense of belief develops. Then, as the results increase, so does the courage, as well as a willingness to act, despite the…

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Stop the cover up

There’s a major cover-up going on – in homes, workplaces and communities. In many cases the standard of living is going up but, for many, the quality of life is going down. On the treadmill of life, it is often easier and quicker to look for short-term fixes to find relief and numb the pain and cover up the truth. Finding the solutions to a better quality of life begins when we STOP the cover-up and start treating the cause. The World Health Organization reports that depression is one of the leading causes of disability worldwide and is a major contributor to the overall global burden of disease. Globally, more than 264 million people of all ages suffer from depression. Considering the challenges we have faced over the last 12 months, it is no surprise that mental health has become the focus for many. Among the frustration, stress and strain, many look for relief to cover-up underlying issues. Relief can come in many forms like painkillers, drugs, cigarettes, alcohol or sleeping tablets. We can use avoidance techniques like denial, delusion, procrastination, oversleeping, overeating, over socializing and overworking. Although the cover-up offers temporary relief and often pleasure it simply acts as a band-aid….

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What smart people do

t’s one thing to know a lot – to read, to learn, to have life experiences, but it’s everything to turn that knowledge into getting the things done that matter. Being smart is not so smart if we don’t use that knowledge to take the action to create the life we want. For 12 years, several times a year, I attended sales and leadership training – often with the same leaders from the real estate industry. We shared the same training experience, the books we purchased were the same and the methods we used and the market conditions were the same in our offices. Despite this similar knowledge there were vastly different results and profits across the offices. The winning teams took action on what they learnt at training. The mediocre teams would make comments like “I know what I should be doing but I don’t have time” or “I’ve heard it all before”. Those with a growth mindset and a bias for action understand that to create a fulfilled life we need to be aware of what we know, but we also need to apply what we know. Action is how we progress through knowledge. Without specific action the benefit from training might be a…

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